Yes, I said it, Perfectionist,
Are you one a …Perfectionist?
Are you overwhelmed and stressed because you are a perfectionist?
Are you feel that the work always needs something else. It always needs one more revision. It needs another font, it needs better wording, it needs to be longer, shorter, thicker, thinner, bolder,…. whatever. Its not done yet, because it still has this thing that can be improved.
Guess what. I know that, and everybody else in the world knows it could be better, it could be improved on, and it could be……perfected.
Let me ask you this, what if the person who invented the first home computer was still waiting for it to be perfected. What if he was still waiting for it to provide you with the best word and excel and power point program. Would that have served the millions around the world who have been using computers. I personally saw the Sinclair– a very old very old version of a computer, and you know what, I was happy to have that version. It worked and I was excited. I never once thought, how could they offer that when the invention is not yet fully developed and perfected. It never dawned on me to say this is not good, and in fact if it had glitches, I knew things would improve.
All of us have seen the developments in phones, cars, airplanes, and almost anything in our life. Even knowledge about the our bodies, foods, world, is being updated and revised.
All these scientists, inventors, writers were not perfect. All of them did their best at the time, and were open to developments. We all benefited from their work, even if it was imperfect.
I am suggesting here, that maybe you could allow yourself to not be perfect, to not get the 99 or the A. What if what you have completed is good enough to be presented, good enough to be used by others, good enough to share with people, and to serve others.
Here is what I learned in my recovery from Perfectionism. First I thought I was not one –mmm denial. You know why most perfectionist will tell you, “Oh, No, I am not a perfectionist at all, I just want it to be as good as possible”,
because being a perfectionist means it has to be PERFECT– and that is very hard to define and you don’t know when you have gotten there, so in their minds they are not perfectionists, because its NOT PERFECT.
The other issue is perfectionists believe its a good thing –they are proud to be a perfectionist. Some of them wear the word like a badge. In fact they have no clue that this ‘perfectionism” is hurting them and others around them.
They are not enjoying friends over, because the house is not cleaned up the way they want, they are not giving in their thesis for years, because it needs a bit research, they are not starting their business, because they are not that good, and they are not …….you name it. Life is on hold because whatever they are doing is not ready for delivery, or not good enough.
Perfectionists hurt themselves and those around them, as they wait for perfection their genius is locked up.
I personally had to work on perfectionism a lot, and I see it often in brilliant people that have so much to give and share, but they can not because………….. they are waiting to reach perfection.
Today I am going to give you a statement that shifted my mind and its one I have shared with hundreds with my clients. I learned it in the first years of transforming my life. Its simple, but profound. I had this statement up on the wall behind my computer and often when redoing the mail, or report, or chapter in my book I would look up and remember
DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT
Without that statement I would probably still be rewriting my programs and thinking I just need to ……. before I put it out the world.
Imagine all the people who have benefited from my work, who would be waiting. Its really unfair.
Today, I want you to ask yourself,
What are you holding onto and not sharing because you think you have to perfect first?
When will you know its now perfect– or at least almost perfect?
Are you sure that will be good enough? Or do you still want to change it?
Its great to want to improve, and you can do that, but after you share your Good Enough, then you go ahead and do another version, and do all they developments you want. Because you know what there really is no such thing as Perfect.
If you still have a strong belief that It has to be Perfect, I believe the best mind-body technology for shifting our beliefs is EFT. If you are not familiar with EFT, please go to www.ttapt.com for information and videos on how to tap.
If you struggle with perfectionism, use this tapping to understand more what its all about and clear this need to have it perfect.
Breaking the Perfectionist Habit
KC: Even though I have this need to be perfect, I love and accept myself
KC: Even though I have always tried to be perfect, I love and accept myself anyway.
KC: Even though I keep pushing myself to be perfect, I totally and completely love and accept myself anyway.
Tapping through the points.
This need to be perfect
this need to do it right
this need to do it so good that no one can find a mistake
this need to do it so well, that everyone thinks I am wonderful
this need to be perfect
this need to impress others
this need to do it so well, that everyone know I am great
this fear of doing it wrong
this fear of not being good enough
this fear of rejection of my work
this fear that I am not good enough
this huge fear that what I do is not that great
Maybe its not safe for me to make a mistake
maybe I was taught its unacceptable for me to make a mistake
maybe I learned that I must get it ALL right
maybe I was taught if you are not perfect, you are not worthy of love
maybe I believed that I have to be perfect to be loved
maybe I believe I need to be perfect, to get all right, to do it right, to be perfect.
Tap a few rounds, these beliefs, till you feel you can move to positive thoughts and beliefs. You may need to tap these a few times.
I wonder if its possible for me to feel comfortable with being excellent,
I wonder if its possible that I am not expected to be perfect, I will do my best and that is being perfect.
I wonder if its possible that I misunderstood, and I don’t have to be perfect.
I wonder if its possible that there is no such thing as perfect. That there is only do your best and improve on that.
I wonder if I am already doing a great job and that is perfect.
I choose to know that perfection is an illusion, and what I strive for is my very best.
Of course, change words around, and Tap on Need to Be Perfect till you get to where you let go of the need.
- Tapping at times brings up emotions, and old events. By tapping, you take full responsibility for your health and wellness. If you become emotional please continue to tap on all or any of the EFT points till you feel calm again. It is also recommended that you work with a trained EFT practitioner to resolve the emotional baggage.